The mom guilt is real, and it’s something that almost every mother feels at some point. Whether you’re working outside the home or just trying to balance everything on your plate, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough for your kids. But the truth is, you’re already doing the best you can. So, you should take care of yourself, too.
It may feel like you’re being selfish for putting your needs first, but it’s actually the best thing you can do for your family. If you’re putting your life on hold to take care of your kids, you’re not going to be able to be the best mom you can be. So, here are five tips to help you stop feeling guilty and start taking care of yourself:
Tip #1 Make time for yourself every day
It’s important to schedule some time each week that is just for you. Whether going to the gym, getting a manicure, or reading your favorite book, make sure to pencil yourself in your busy schedule. This particular time will help you recharge and feel like a better mom.
Even if it’s only a few minutes of solitude while the kids are sleeping or at school, use that time to do something that makes you happy. It’s not okay to sacrifice your happiness for everyone else’s comfort all the time. Of course, there will be times when you have to put your needs on the back burner, but don’t make it a habit.
If you keep putting yourself last, you might resent your family one day or explode because of all the emotions you keep bottled up. And that’s not fair to them or you. So, take some time each day to do something that makes you happy.
Tip #2 Set aside some quality time
Just because you’re not spending every waking minute with your kids doesn’t mean you’re not a good parent. As long as you’re setting aside some quality time each day or week to connect with them, that’s all that matters.
Whether it’s reading bedtime stories, playing a game of catch, or just chatting about your day, quality time is more important than quantity. So, don’t feel guilty if you can’t be with your kids all the time — just make sure to savor the time you have together.
Tip #3 Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Whether it’s from your partner, family, or friends, asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. It takes a village to raise kids, so don’t be afraid to delegate some tasks. Don’t feel like you have to be everything for your kids all at once — if you try, you’ll only end up feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
It’s only human to get tired and ask for help when needed. If you can’t do it all, that’s okay. Just remember to ask for help when you need it and be grateful for the people in your life willing to lend a hand. Having a strong support system around you will make being a mom much more manageable.
Suppose you’ve wanted to get your crooked teeth straightened for a while and finally have the budget to do so. You may even have enough saved up to get clear braces so they won’t be as visible. In this case, you can ask your partner or sibling to watch the kids while you attend your appointment with the Invisalign dentist.
Tip #4 Stop comparing yourself to other parents
Every parent is different, and there is no right way to do things. Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel worse because you’ll always find someone doing something better than you. They may have more patience, more energy, or more money. But that doesn’t mean they’re a better parent than you.
Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on being the best parent you can be. You should also avoid comparing yourself to your own parents because times have changed, and what worked for them might not work for you. Do what feels right for you and your family, and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.
Tip #5 Accept that you’re not perfect
No one is perfect, and that includes parents. You’ll make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you’re a terrible parent. Accepting your imperfections will help you be more self-compassionate because you know that you’re doing the best you can.
Making mistakes and learning from them is part of being a parent. So, don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned. Just take a deep breath, relax, and try again. Remember, it’s okay not to be perfect.
As long as you’re doing the best you can, that’s all that matters. Being a mom is hard enough without worrying about being perfect all the time. So, cut yourself some slack and give yourself a break. Hopefully, these tips can help you overcome some of that mom guilt. You deserve it!